19 January, 2007

Meh. The depression ogre says, "Why post?"

There is really very little of interest going on here lately. I feel like a puppy, left home alone all day while the owners go to work and school. :-P Crystal's gone most of the day, most days, Jody and Amber are gone, the cars are gone... Just me, the pets, and the TV.

The good news is that I've set up and interview at the Park Meadows Cheesecake Factory on Sunday!!! YAY!!! Heh, when I called the GM was very confused as to why I want to cashier if I'm trained as a server (less money, longer hours, pain-in-the-ass duties). However, all of course becomes clear when I'm like, "Well... I can't really use my right arm for anything involving carrying things over, say, two pounds. Yay shoulder surgery." I want to start freaking MONDAY. I need something to DO.

If this entry seems strained, it's because I'm working hard to force myself to update. Despite being bored, I also have no energy. I sleep ten to twelve hours a night and am still exhausted and listless all day. I don't feel like doing anything at all.

The one silver lining is that I've managed some art projects, including a few ink drawings that I'm actually kinda proud of. Rather surrealist and Philip Guston esque. I half-joked with Crystal last night that I should list some of my work on Ebay and see if anyone would want it. :-P This led to the question of how do artists actually start selling their stuff in the first place? I still lack an answer. (I also lack a scanner, or I'd be more inclined to upload the images.)

One final note would be that I have changed my e-mail address. Please take note! fadedamaranth@yahoo.com = bye-bye. novareproject@gmail.com = CONTACT. Believe it or not, the main reason I've switched is the ads. Since Christmas, yahoo mail has been rife with weight loss ads and with the state I've been in the last thing I need is to be told every five minutes that I need to lose weight.

The part of me that says I absolutely DO need it is why this e-mail switch has taken close to three weeks. I want to be told I'm a fatass. I want incentive to hate myself more. If there's one thing I've taken away from therapy, it's that I am the biggest cause of my own depression. Or, at the least, I'm the reason I continue to be depressed. I set myself up for it and lock myself in to the cycle. Changing my e-mail is a little step to try and loosen the hold.

So... That's about it. Again, please try to forgive my terseness. It's nothing against you, I swear.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hang in there kid. sounds like good things are just around the corner. rnlaurie

Siri said...

Hi! Just wanted to stop by and thank you for the letter.. I have allready written you answer.. but.. hey.. I need do actually get it to a maibow to.. heh.. But it will come I promise! Otherwise,, good luck on your meeting with that factoryplace. I'll keeo my fingers crossed for you!

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