18 December, 2007

Mistletoe! (...or something title-like.)

Crap, I guess it really has been a while...

Between work and Christmas preparations I've barely had a scarce minute to do anything lately. They're so short-staffed that they have me serving again a few days a week, which is actually nice as it means I've got a better income on a more immediate basis. Yay Christmas spending money.

I've got the day off and my body decided hey! what an awesome time to get sick. Sooo I'm spending my time off planted on the couch with Nyquil and a box of Kleenex and an overwhelming supply of South Park. It's getting old pretty fast. My mind is occupied with drugged up thoughts of all the things I should or could be doing....if only I didn't feel so crappy....

The latest updates on the medicinal front would be warranted, I suppose. I stopped taking the Abilify after three weeks, because I started getting these really bogus nightmares every time I'd so much as close my eyes for a catnap. Additionally, I started noticing weird bruises appearing without any known cause. I chalked these up to possible anemia or something, but as soon as I stopped the Abilify the bruises went away, so I'm thinking that must have been what was causing them.

Currently, I'm still on Welbutrin XL 300mg, although I'm not sure how much benefit it's giving me. I brought that up with the psych when I saw her a few weeks ago but her decision was to keep me on it for now.

She also started me on Prozac, which I find ironically funny: Prozac, oldest of the anti-depressants, last resort SSRI for me. I started that on the 26th of November, so I guess it's been about three weeks. The majority of the nasty side effects have gone down, thank crap. I was getting some mad, miserable sweats, headaches, and serious anxiety the likes of which I hadn't experienced in a few years. Again another Prozac irony, that it should be the mildest SSRI but have some of the worst side effects. I've honestly experienced more grief from this than I did Effexor or even Lamictal.

It's hard to say if I'm noticing any benefits yet. My depression has certainly alleviated over the last few weeks, but whether that's due to medicinal workings or the Spirit of Christmas is impossible to determine. I've got more holly jolly this year than a pack of festive elves riding reindeer through a wrapping paper plant. The reason for that would be that this is pretty much the first 'real' Christmas I've had in about three years - last year I'd dropped out of school and made an abrupt cross-country move to live with my girlfriend's mom, and the year before that I was fresh off two hospitalizations, a suicide attempt, and spent the start of Christmas break looking for a homeless shelter to stay at when the dorms closed.

This year I've got my own place, my own car, a good income, two baby cats, and a loving family to celebrate with. Things are pretty much AWESOME.

So, like I said: Christmas Spirit or Prozac? Who the hell knows. (I'm hoping it's both so that once Christmas is over I'll still have the happy.)

Ummm what else. Nyquil's wearing off so I feel groggy but sick again...

My latest reading conquests have been Only Revolutions and Wicked. Yes, I know, I'm basically the last person in the world to read Wicked. Meh! Both kickded ass. I want to get some of the other books by the Wicked guy, whateverthehell his name is.

...thinks...

Okay, I guess that's all. I'm too busy hacking my lungs out to come up with a decent entry.

1 comment:

Shanti said...

Have a Happy new year, it's good to hear things are looking up for you.
I usually get depressed around the holiday season.